Ooooohhh Shit. Now I found it. Typing and some music. So tonight was kind of like any TGIF. I made it to the studio after work and made more make believe. Then I got home to clean up and work on the shine and absinthe in the works. Once things were finishing up I decided to drink a half glass of absinthe. A proper dose if you will. The only other time that I’ve drank absinthe is with my dad at the Czech embassy in Washington D.C. So whatever I made isn’t the same thing but, it’s strong probably attributable to the high alcohol content. Anyways, I’m glancing at lights and feeling in a certain sort of place that most artists find themselves in the romantic sense. And now I’m wondering why I’m typing any of this. I’m listening to Codeine. Remember those dudes? It was like emo make out music back in the day. So know I’m relating this experience of me ingesting these herbs and this sugar and yeast thing I made and the affects it’s having on my consciousness. All of our consciousness. Because, now you’re reading this and it’s all being introduced to you and entering you. Soon I will be brushing my teeth and begin a new journey to dreams and darkness but, before then something has to be said. Maybe it’s a part of what I’m feeling. The motions I was performing tonight. Alone in darkness with fire and altering substances. The thought of being a shaman and living that feeling more than I know. I like being alone and it causes some conflict. I miss my friends and then I don’t. Times like right now have happened to me over and over again. But, instead of a leather covered sketchbook to write in I have this blog. So here’s the stuff minus drawings of what is going on.
It’s all progressing and certain guilt is being felt. The world is dying slowing yet fast enough we can see it coming and we still build, love, and create in order to survive. The crawling hands pull back at the leaves that are forever gone. We wait to see when the sky is understood and nothing else has ever been that orange. All brilliant all lies. Laying it down to be eaten. The sun of the moon and all the things that go with it. The terrible truth is crawling across the counter. Find comfort with those ants they’re just living like you. No wisdom no smoke no sage it’s all in just us I guess. We could be feeling this because, a poison has entered us said to be a black bile it runs through us creating all the shadows and disbelief. What will we all do? What can anyone do? Watch that blur in your eyes come true. The dancing and shouting will keep happening to you.
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Many write hoping they can make themselves appear a certain way in the world. You, foreverever, write with an honesty that feels like the waves rolling in and out against the sand. It isn't one or the other. It's not true or false. But it is what it is. And I like that about you. Thanks for the post.
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